Hide or Seek?

If you have been around this blog much the past eight months or so, you have probably noticed a recurring theme dealing with fear. I hashed out some of my feelings about it over lunch with my friend Alex several months ago. He shared some of his own feelings about a frightening experience he had and then he shared something else. He said as much as he needed to be able to talk about what happened, his friends didn't want him to. I didn't get it at the time, but I did later. And I certainly do now.

I get that people don't want to hear someone say they feel exposed and vulnerable. Seriously, who goes around saying these things out loud? Why would someone talk openly about the things we try to hide? I can tell you this: hiding doesn't help. I want to be the person who can sit with someone in their pain and not get squeamish because I chose to sit with my own first. I don't ever want to be the person who tries to give the easy answer so I can find the easy exit out of the conversation. I don't want to be the person who deflects with sarcasm or humor. I'd rather be the person who invites with sincerity. It is hard. I get that. We have been taught the safety of silence. But here's what I have learned: we can be the one who pulls the covers over our heads or we can be the one who pulls the covers off of someone else so we can wrap our arms around them. We can choose. Not easily. But we can choose.

Maybe the best thing we can do is ask ourselves the hard question: Who taught you to fear?