I went running with a friend not long ago and before we ever began, I felt the need to warn her about Philosophical Steph. She usually emerges late at night, perhaps during a stimulating conversation, or sitting by a campfire in the woods, or walking on the beach. But she is almost always guaranteed to make an appearance about three miles in to a good run. Maybe there's just something about exercise induced endorphins and a healthy dose of Vitamin D for one who is deficient. Philosophical Steph talks a lot. She is pretty precocious and incredibly optimistic. On any given day, she believes that if given the chance, the help of a few other enthusiastically optimistic and idealistic people, and the go-ahead from God, she could probably help lower the obesity statistic in America, and at least begin to right most of the injustices in the world. She is just that convicted. And free.
She emerged right on schedule that day. She rambled on and on about God and the human experience. And how as humans we are capable of so much more than we tend to think we are. How pain is just as much mental as it is physical. And how we spend too much time trying to escape pain when we should just let ourselves surrender to it, acknowledge it, but not let it consume us. She started thinking about how letting ourselves feel pain can be a sort of physical act of worship. She started thinking she might be on to something...Blah, blah, blah.
I'm thinking that on a good day, maybe about 50% of what Philosophical Steph thinks is something that could go somewhere. Maybe in a book. Or if she was a preacher, in a sermon. It could be polished up to a pretty nice shine and maybe actually stimulate some change. At the very least, make the darkness a little brighter. But herein lies the problem: this Steph rarely sticks around long enough to convince The Other One that they are one and the same. That she is capable. That it would be worth it. That trying matters more than failing. Or even succeeding. Yes, that is the issue.
Something seems to happen somewhere between the cool down and the taking off of the running shoes. Conviction begins to waver. And all of a sudden, Philosophical Steph, the very one who believes she can leap theological skyscrapers in a single bound, ridding the world of pessimism one social injustice at a time, realizes she is just like everyone else. And the "What ifs" get shelved. She finds herself back in the land of wishful thinking. And maybe that's why she runs. She likes wearing a cape. The way it flies behind her when she is free. And maybe one day, she will decide she is going to wear it in real life. Until then...she runs.
She emerged right on schedule that day. She rambled on and on about God and the human experience. And how as humans we are capable of so much more than we tend to think we are. How pain is just as much mental as it is physical. And how we spend too much time trying to escape pain when we should just let ourselves surrender to it, acknowledge it, but not let it consume us. She started thinking about how letting ourselves feel pain can be a sort of physical act of worship. She started thinking she might be on to something...Blah, blah, blah.
I'm thinking that on a good day, maybe about 50% of what Philosophical Steph thinks is something that could go somewhere. Maybe in a book. Or if she was a preacher, in a sermon. It could be polished up to a pretty nice shine and maybe actually stimulate some change. At the very least, make the darkness a little brighter. But herein lies the problem: this Steph rarely sticks around long enough to convince The Other One that they are one and the same. That she is capable. That it would be worth it. That trying matters more than failing. Or even succeeding. Yes, that is the issue.
Something seems to happen somewhere between the cool down and the taking off of the running shoes. Conviction begins to waver. And all of a sudden, Philosophical Steph, the very one who believes she can leap theological skyscrapers in a single bound, ridding the world of pessimism one social injustice at a time, realizes she is just like everyone else. And the "What ifs" get shelved. She finds herself back in the land of wishful thinking. And maybe that's why she runs. She likes wearing a cape. The way it flies behind her when she is free. And maybe one day, she will decide she is going to wear it in real life. Until then...she runs.
No comments:
Post a Comment