“There is a pleasure in the pathless woods; / There is a rapture on the lonely shore; / There is society, where none intrudes, / By the deep sea, and music in its roar; / I love not man the less, but Nature more...” Lord Byron

I read the book Into the Wild way before it became a big movie directed by Sean Penn with a soundtrack written and performed by Eddie Vedder. I read it after I got kicked out of college and right around the time I went back and began my attempt at academic redemption. Something about the story struck a nerve deep within me. I couldn’t get anyone else in my life to read it, as is the case with most of the books that change my way of walking in the world. More often than not, no one is interested. So I walked around being this changed person, wondering how I could make this change fit into my life when my life was what I most needed to change.

So I changed very little and just kept quiet. But I did find myself pretty successful at redeeming that academic career and ended up with a degree that made people cock their heads to the side and ask “Well, what are you planning to do with that?” I didn’t know, so I washed golf cars and did a writing residency for a while. Then I decided to teach. That went pretty well until Alexander Supertramp came back into my life in the form of trailers for Sean Penn’s movie.

I decided to invite him to my book club. Big mistake. All of a sudden, I had these women, all of whom were mothers and teachers, talking about selfishness and self importance. They were angry and indignant. And when I voiced a feeling of kinship with Chris McCandless, I, once again, got that same look I had gotten years before. The sideways tilted head and the questions I didn’t really know how to answer. So I sat quietly while they very vocally disliked my book selection. All of a sudden, I realized how much I didn't belong there.  I left that book club not too long after that. Eventually I left teaching and started another book club. I left that one, as well.

Call me the leavin’ kind, but I think I’ve learned to leave well enough alone. Of course, this, too, is subject to change. Until then, I'm just going to walk a little more quietly in my world with the intention of noticing a lot more of it.