I am stubborn. This shouldn't be much of a revelation to those of you who know me well, but I've been doing some internal housecleaning lately and this is one of the aspects of my personality I am wrestling with the most.
My hardheadedness has served me well at different times of my life. When I was working my way through college and a four year degree was taking all of eight years. The first five years of married life when we were trying to figure out married life, each other, and ourselves. When I was marathon training and everything in my body would want to stop running, but my mind made me continue. My stubborn streak is what has always made me push through. When life pushed, I pushed back. But I'm realizing more and more that we can only keep pushing for so long. It is exhausting. Frustrating. And often, gets us nowhere. Or even worse, sets us back.
It is no secret that I have taken up yoga. I still find this fact somewhat amusing. But a few days ago I was lying on the living room floor trying to push through the nasty ball of tightness in my hip. I kept telling myself that I could push through the pain until my hip surrendered and opened up. But after a few minutes of pretty intense pain, I gave up pushing. Lying there on the floor, I realized that pushing was what got my body in this mess to begin with. Several years of running with no attention to stretching and balance had gotten me to this point and I was going to have to nurture my way out of it. And before you think this is going to get all warm and fuzzy on you, know that this realization ticked me off in a major way. I got downright mad. But after a little conversation with myself, I decided if I couldn't force healing in my body, I could willingly walk toward it, and maybe I could use my determination and stubbornness to stay on the path and just keep walking. And if everything I'm learning about yoga is true, this is going to be a very, very long walk. Good thing I love a journey.
My hardheadedness has served me well at different times of my life. When I was working my way through college and a four year degree was taking all of eight years. The first five years of married life when we were trying to figure out married life, each other, and ourselves. When I was marathon training and everything in my body would want to stop running, but my mind made me continue. My stubborn streak is what has always made me push through. When life pushed, I pushed back. But I'm realizing more and more that we can only keep pushing for so long. It is exhausting. Frustrating. And often, gets us nowhere. Or even worse, sets us back.
It is no secret that I have taken up yoga. I still find this fact somewhat amusing. But a few days ago I was lying on the living room floor trying to push through the nasty ball of tightness in my hip. I kept telling myself that I could push through the pain until my hip surrendered and opened up. But after a few minutes of pretty intense pain, I gave up pushing. Lying there on the floor, I realized that pushing was what got my body in this mess to begin with. Several years of running with no attention to stretching and balance had gotten me to this point and I was going to have to nurture my way out of it. And before you think this is going to get all warm and fuzzy on you, know that this realization ticked me off in a major way. I got downright mad. But after a little conversation with myself, I decided if I couldn't force healing in my body, I could willingly walk toward it, and maybe I could use my determination and stubbornness to stay on the path and just keep walking. And if everything I'm learning about yoga is true, this is going to be a very, very long walk. Good thing I love a journey.
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