Heads or Tails?

I've been thinking a lot about choices lately. Mainly because it just seems that my husband and I have had so many to make the past several years. Some of them minor, but many of them big gamble, all or nothing kind of choices. I haven't always been a big fan of making choices. Don't ask me to choose a restaraunt, or even an item on a menu. You should see me try to pack for a trip. Or pack my lunch. Too many choices overwhelm me and big decisions? Well, they can almost paralyze me.

I like definitive answers and I'm learning more and more that our choices rarely come with those kind of answers. I'm also a big fan of affirmation. Which I'm learning more and more doesn't necessarily come until after I finally choose. I'm learning how suffocating choosing hastily can be. And just how painful it can be when I simply choose to take the safe road. I'm learning how letting go can sometimes be a reflection of my faith, and holding onto something no more than a vivid reminder of my lack of it. I'm learning that some of our best choices have been made when we felt we had no choice at all. And how a few of our choices have closed doors on dreams and ushered in harsh reality. I've learned how we respond to those very moments is a choice in itself. And I've learned that when we choose together, we choose better.

I'm realizing though, that choices are necessary. Our choices define us. Our refusal to make them or to not own up to poor ones, says even more. Of course, I'll have to be reminded of this when I let my husband choose the steak for me and then immediately wish I had chosen the chicken.