Undone.

So this is what I'm thinking: There is something wrong when a person can stand at a window looking out at a cold, wet world and wish they were out running in it. Or walking, or biking. I have done that off and on all evening. I love running on a cold day and wet road. I don't know why. But I do know that I am going a little stir crazy. I have been used to being sweat soaked at least several times a week for several years now. In the past month, I have only sweat once. And that was when I forgot to turn on the ceiling fan before going to bed one night. I am antsy....to say the least. And I feel fat and toxic. And I can't organize my thoughts or stay on task. And these are all things I have struggled with my whole life, but now, I am just undone. And don't think I haven't gotten creative. I thought I could work around this "injury." Oh, so only forward movement hurts? Then I'll do only lateral movement...until that hurts as well. And then there are days when it hurts just because. And really, all I really want other than for my leg to get better is to just know how long it will take to get better. I am not a patient waiter. And I pride myself on not being a pity partier. So I tell myself there are many people I know who would love to trade places with me right now. Because they have been down for much longer than a month in much more serious ways. So I try to use my time wisely and productively, not thinking about the indefinite nature of healing or the relatively mild nature of my injury . And I try to think clearly. But in the midst of getting ready to possibly make some major changes in my life, I laugh when I think that I may look back several years from now and say "It all started that time I hurt my leg..."